TW: mention of marital rape & harassment
In a video uploaded to Instagram that has now been deleted, an interviewer asked a random sample of people their views on marital rape. The specific question asked was something along the lines of: Do you think asking consent is important during sex after marriage? While most of the women (seemingly from different socio-economic classes) affirmed that a partner’s consent is essential even after one is married and they would appreciate their spouses asking them for it, they stated that, sadly, in reality, it hardly ever occurs.
For me, the most shocking aspect of that video was the replies of the men featured. Their opinions made it clear that they viewed women as their possessions after the Nikkah Nama's finalization. Regardless of age, there was a general agreement that consent was unnecessary since the Nikkah justified any sexual activity as being in line with religion and legality.
In the video, one man’s interview was particularly frustrating to watch, who stated that women were obliged to cater to their husbands' needs after marriage. He stated that if the wife lacked this aspect, that led the husband astray- seeking other women to fulfill his needs. Furthermore, he implied that the whole purpose of marriage is to be able to have intercourse with one’s wife, and if one can’t do that, then (I kid you not, these were his words), “ tou kya faida” (what is the use) of marriage.
In his view, the concept of marital rape was non-existent. Implying that the previous issue was an internal familial matter between the husband and wife, he stated that media outlets like the one producing the video should rather focus on the way girls were dressing these days and how that was leading to a rise in harassment cases.
It's videos like these that really portray how truly problematic and misogynist some people in our society can be, becoming an increasing cause of concern and fear.
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I really tried to link the video here so you all could watch it, but it’s been taken down, and the account that shared it is now private.
In most cases even women justify this to themselves and don't even think twice that this is wrong due to the extent they have been brain washed by the mesognistic society.
Oh god i knew this mindset is very prevelant in our society but i haven't watched this video and just reading this is making me sick idk when will people actually start to talking about it I've literally seen girls around me going in real depression after their marriage because of this
I saw this! What killed me was the woman who agreed that consent was necessary and then went on to confess that her husband never asked for hers! Her expression broke me...
It is the bitter truth of our culture. There is a famous R vs. R case which deals with the marital rape issue. You should definitely read it. Unfortunately, such cases are restricted to the curriculum only. Sadly, there is no legislation to apply such laws.
will never forget when I first found out there were no laws against marital rape in Pakistan, we should really talk about this more